yoga classes reasoning

There were times when my friends would have asked me, "Why do you opt to do Yoga?" and I couldn't find the answer. The right answer. By right, I mean a witty one. A witty, pop-culture-affected, non-girly one. The 'me' one.

I might have said, "To have something to talk about with Madonna." Not true. I already have so much to talk about with Madonna. "To be able to twist and turn myself like Nick Beyeler." Then we would talk about Nick Beyeler rather than yoga since I'm sure not so many people know him. Especially in my close circle. (Oh my God. He doesn't even have a Wikipedia entry on him!)

"To be able not to use staggered breathing (whatever supposed-to-mean is that) while singing with any choir." Argh, choir schmoir. Unlike CC White, I can't say, "It's all over.." regarding that trauma just yet. "Just to relax and have a synchronized body-mind-soul system in me." This might come in handy when an instructor suddenly quizzes us. "So that my highkicks will be as awesome as Hugh Jackman's." No one's anything can be as awesome as Hugh Jackman's.

Needless to say that those answers are not quite right. Not witty enough. Not me enough. And finally, after watching the first episode of Entourage season 3, I found the answer. I fucking found it. So, next time somebody asks me why I do yoga for, I will say,

"To be available in case Jeremy Piven needs a body double."

He doesn't at the moment (or any moment), though. And I just can't pull that for-pete's-sake-it's-so-difficult-and-he-even-has-like-a-hundred-and-ten-pounds-on-me pose quite yet.

Damn you, Piven. Wait and see, mate. Wait and see.