Monday, January 29, 2007

found at

Have no idea yet what it means by 44.2% smarter, though. But it sounds good..

Take the test by clicking on the pic.


ACHTUNG: Profane Language and Sarcasm Included

I have made peace with myself. Finally revelations came one by one to my face and I think that my stress finally eases. And no yoga involved. Yet. Hehehe.. Not until that bloke I went out with last weekend does his promise. And having known him for almost thirteen years, that promise may come in a very expandable while. Sigh.

A friend of mine told me that I should have tied all the untied knots for my first source of stress, i.e. contacting some people that I strongly hate, just in order to tell them what I really think about the whole problem. Well, I made a deal with myself this weekend by saying that I ain't doing it.

There are just too many reasons behind the decision that I made. I won't say the reasons because it is impossible to say what those are without inflicting any names. But let's say it like this: it is one of the times that you think that it is impossible to deal with people because they are stubbornly idolizing something fake and unessential, spoiled, utterly defensive, and unconditionally short of common sense. Oh, and of course, two things that rhyme with cupid and prosthetic. You just can't have a healthy argument or even a discussion. Everything turns to something pointless and useless and time-wasting. Fuck.

I've been fooled, that's for sure. Maybe now people are now snickering because of that, but luckily, I think the people who does that are the people that I couldn't and wouldn't care less, so I don't think that matters. Borrowing a part of an almost overused proverb: Fool me once, shame on you. Well, shame on you. But shame on me too. For not developing guts and instincts early in the game. My mistake. My fool.

So yes, I made peace. Even though I think that the last choir that I sang with is not only the most (if not one of the most) unprofessional group that I have been working with (or in this case, that last word should be "for"), but also manipulative, likes to take advantage of people, and run by the people who really think that they are above the others (why they think that, beats me), I case-closed-ly say that all things are settled. At least with myself.

Ergo lot, I won't talk about this fiasco no more, unless it will be useful to relate to when such debacle will rise again sometime in the future. Fuck. I hope not, though.


For the other stress, I am amazed actually for the fact that I again finally found someone who turns out to be someone who's far from my early expectation. Who knew that a person who's so solemn and looks unknowledgeable, ignorant, and lives in their own world, may turn to be one of the most insightful, right-on-the-money, and worthy adviser. And knowledgeable.

I'm so glad I was able to find a chance to talk to them. Not for the sake of gossiping per se, but with a clear intention of getting their thoughts. I'm not saying I was looking for a second opinion or someone to agree with, I just wanted to know their position on this situation. I know that the parties that are involved with this don't communicate with them (the person I talked to), so for me, that would give them a fair chance to weigh things on their own.

This situation was clear. First, I should should should should give a lot of my friends a lot more credits than what I have been giving them. More. Credits. Gosh, I befriend a girl who would die hearing me saying that credit word. She would think that she could twist it into a Visa advertisement running on TV, hence implement it to me and I'd go bankrupt.

Second, believe in yourself. That if you think that you are normal and agree with a lot of people most of the times. That means in this case, if someone did something that they think it was right according to their values, and you think it was totally wrong, that doesn't mean that you're all alone at the other side of that person's spectrum. It may turn out, like in my case, that you'll find more people at that side of your spectrum. So believe in your side of spectrum. Why are we suddenly talking about rainbows?

Third, just have fun. I mean, this whole thing is all about fun anyway. At least for now. No matter what decision you are (I am) basing on, it is supposed to count fun in.


Other stress matter was more or less settled when I successfully purchased the thing shown in this picture.

See? Ain't it beautiful?

I didn't realize that I can be stressed for the fact that Dreamgirls was not getting the attention that it was supposed to get, at least in my book of life. But then again, I don't need people to concur with me on everything, right?

I just felt that Dreamgirls was totally not-(yet)-appreciated. It is fair, though since I got disappointment throughout watching the movie. But still, a nod at least? An earlier showtime than weird movies whose titles I have never heard of ever? A feature in magazines, newspapers, or other media?

So now, my Dreamgirls are complete. At least for now I can meet them every time I need them. Like at least tens of hours a day. And who knows that maybe someday I can move synchronously with them subconsciously. *wink*

That question on when it's gonna be on theaters is kinda answered though. At least Singapore-wise.

Isn't it dreadful?

Lastly, happy twenty seven, me. You said life is one fucking ugly bitch, right? But don't forget that you said that you love that bitch no matter what.

Cheers. Here's to life.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

this year one liner

Bad karma, that's the thing I'm kinda getting nowadays ...

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Dreamgirls, literally


OK. This post is contributed solely for the fact that I am indeed obsessed with Dreamgirls, especially when this dreamy girl called and told me that its "mungkin belum bagus" DVD is out. If it isn't out in Jakarta yet, I can only say that western part of Indonesia got the sun earlier, so of course they also got Dreamgirls earlier. Duh!

I dreamed that I had a sorta dinner with Beyonce tonight. Lately I kept imagining how Beyonce's character in Dreamgirls would be. I mean, I was thinking that Deena was actually the villain on this musical. What else can make Diana Ross (Dreamgirls is loosely based on the life and times of The Supremes) so upset during Dreamgirls premiere?

So I listened to the tracks of the musical that I have like tens of times back-to-back already. And I realized, despite Jennifer Hudson and Eddie Murphy got the ravest reviews, Anika Noni Rose is my most anticipated performance, I think Beyonce will surprise me the most.

I can already imagine how Deena Jones will be in the hands of Beyonce. She'll be vulnerable, full of innocence, appealing, and sultry. Eventhough I know that sometimes imagination is so much better than the truth, I hope to differ this time.

Thinking too much of Beyonce explains a lot about my dream meeting one of the Dreamgirls.

But what can explain what you're looking at in this snapshot?

Monday, January 08, 2007

ketchup, wait. catch up number 1

Lost season 1, check.
Friends season 2, check.
Dora the Explorer (like six episode of 'em), check.
Will and Grace season 5, check.
Little Britain, check.
Veronica Mars season 1, check.
The Shield season 2, check.
Crash, check.

Ah, yes. Veronica Mars. The series that a bloke once recommended me (is this english? I am fully aware that it is acceptable in german, but I'm not sure whether it is in english). He asked me one day, "Do you know Veronica Mars?". I replied, "I have heard of it. I heard it was supposed to be cool or something." He replied something similar to, "Very. And smart as well. And if you like Buffy, you're gonna be like in love with Veronica Mars."

I got interested hearing the "smart" word. But had I watched the series then, I would have said something like, "Well, thank you for reminding me that a series titled Buffy existed. Can you pass me my Viagra bottle? I suddenly got an erection problem." Well, perhaps a little bit classier and much less lewd than that. But all I said was, "I don't like Buffy. So, don't talk me into getting into some teenflick. Let's just talk about Project Runway, instead. Shall we?". And you can kinda figure out how we turned to I-hate-Jeffrey-but-I-like-his-garments err .. human being afterwards.

'Veronica Mars' CastSome months and perhaps an overlooked blog entry later, I kinda wished that I hadn't thought that Viagra comment of mine. And I also kinda wished that I actually could switch shoes with a gal named Veronica Mars. Well, OK, if it's too effing weird for you, I'd like to switch shoes with some principals in Veronica Mars. Logan Echolls for example.

The thing is that I can't decide who's cooler on the show. There is one who doesn't really care if the whole school hates you, and you don't really have a friend, and you don't hang out like other "normal" high-school students do, and your family is one of the most talked about in your ... (what's Neptune? A district or something?), and you miss your murdered best friend.

As long as you know that you are the smartest, most resourceful, most productive, have this [this is when my English start to disappoint me] smile, are able to cope with a tragedy and actually used it to completely change your klutzy look into this sassy, sexy, young woman and you know that the other students were just peeringly jealous.

Or, the one who doesn't give a damn at all when people think that you're the biggest jerk in school, and you're like stupid and lazy, and the teachers hate you, and your family is not as intact as people know or imagine, and you have only superficial sorry friends.

As long as you know that you are like the richest, spoiled kid in school, and may I say, the most fashionable one. And you get the girl in the kinda end. Sorta. For like two effing nanoseconds that was. Sigh.

I don't know. But I don't mind becoming one of them. Not only of those two, y'know. All the people in Neptune are like the ones who always know the right thing to say (insert a tiny little bit of sarcasm here). One who always has a comeback for things people throw at you. One who can dial a number as soon as one gets it, and says something like, "Hi. I'm [insert mock name here]. I work for and would like to have a follow-up on what you said on US Weekly last week." Yeah, I would have killed to be one.

Well, but anyway. Hmm, Veronica Mars. Yeah. The series is like super-cool. Hypercool. Übercool. And you got that right. I live in the 90s when the word cool was still cool. I think this is the first series that sometimes I don't get what's on screen. I don't mean like, "Jeez, I don't get this sinetron." don't get. No. But it's like, "Wait, wait. So who's the bad guy???" Just kidding, mate. C'mon. I deserve a lot more credence than that.

Veronica Mars CastLet me put it like this. Watching Veronica Mars is a chance to finally be able to express my gratitude for the existence of things such as a rewind button on your DVD player's remote control and English caption. Seriously, I would have never survived today without them. And I was only watching six episodes. Sometimes (okay, a hell lot of time, perhaps) I couldn't really tell what was actually going on in the scenes, and why were the characters were acting obnoxiously dramatic following up to what was just going on.

If that happens, which is very often, I had to rewind the disc a bit, check the details on screen, what were the characters saying, the meaning of those said words, and all. Yeah, you can wear that "I'm with stupid" T-Shirt the next time you'd be meeting me. But in my defense, at least I know who the bad guy is.

But you know what? Between those rewinding experiences and those what-does-this-sentence-really-mean occurrences, Veronica Mars started to grow on me. Solely because the creators really expect the viewers to be a lot smarter than just ... [yeah, my English and I had disowned each other].

Funnily, the teensy weensy bit of the series still bugs me sometimes. Ugh.

Oh, yeah. By the way. What's up with that movie called Crash? Did Paul Haggis suddenly get "inspired" and think that Magnolia needed to be more pop and non-philosophical and narrow and nauseating? That snow in the end? Wow .. Snow in LA. Let's kinda end the movie with something almost impossible pouring down from the sky and put some swelling music as a background. Wow, I would have never thought of that. Clever. Tell me when to stop clapping.

Have a geeky week!

Stupid New Year (part 3)

Oh my God. I can't believe that they were there somewhere...Top 25 OctoberBut the timestamp on this file was October 2006. Still, it kinda describes my Top 25 by the end of the year.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Stupid New Year (part 2)

[It's kinda weird if you're reading the part 2 prior to reading the first part]

I have a strong feeling that number one on that list is was "Take Your Mama" by Shayne Ward. I actually watched this song first. It wasn't a typo or a bad diction judgment, but really, not heard, watched. It was performed by Ward, then a contestant in "The X-Factor", a british Idol-like singing competition, in the top 5. In a second, I fell for the song. Not because of the lyrics, of the original singer (it's Scissor Sisters, FYI), or of Ward, but of its bouncy rhythm. The song was so much fun! SO FUN! So, thanks to Ward I kinda spent 2006 obsessing with (or to?) Scissor Sisters.

Somewhere also on the top 5 is "Written in the Stars". A signature song kinda from "Aida". A Disney musical by Tim Rice and Elton John. I reckoned this song, when I got acquainted with yet another Michael in Hamburg. This time, he calls himself Mikey. Mikey wrote the lyrics of this song in his online profile on an internet portal. And I was like, "Is that that song that I just heard some minutes ago?" I contacted Mikey, we chatted, and we were chat buddies for like some months in 2006. 'Twas quite good times.

I'm positive that one of the five on top is "What Would I Do?", a final song from the musical "March of the Falsettos". Wait. Was it "Falsettoland"? I still can't grasp the concept clearly, here. A guy outta town sent me a sheet of a song from the same musical called "What More Can I Say?". He even boldly stated that this song is the best song ever written. EVER. I even had an entry on this song. But as time went by, I like listening to, singing with, and sympathizing with the lead character more when I hear "What Would". No further question, eventhough I'm sure that "What More" was one of the top 25, "What Would" was definitely a top fiver.

Hate to admit it, but I think another top 5 is "Angels Brought Me Here". But this one is Carrie Underwood's. I think it's solely because I like singing the song and between the three versions that I got: Underwood's, Guy Sebastian's (First Australian Idol winner), and Shannon Noll's (First Australian Idol first runner-up), Underwood's was actually within my range. Go figure.

I can't even think what the other one is. It can be the 2006 Scissor Sisters' smashing hit "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'". It can also be ABBA's "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" (how pushy of me). Logically BeeGees' "How Deep is Your Love?" should have been there. Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" is also a candidate.

But honestly, I can't think of a number five. Or in other words, between picking one of those four and scratching out my left eye, I think I would prefer the latter.

That's that guys. My 2006 revolves around familiarizing self with 70s music, which turns out that I enjoy so so much, Idol or Idol-related thingie, musicals (so old news, innit?) and Scissor Sisters. How's you?

So, Mr. Hornby, why don't you give me 2007 as a chance to evolve? Perhaps, after successfully scavenging my sister's hard-drive yesterday, I can introduce you to AB Three's "Kerinduan". It's on the top 4 in the 25 Most Played

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

I don't feel like crying (shout-out to Scissor Sisters)

Wooooooooooooottt??? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....!!!!

Why, you ask?

FYI, I've hit the Bloglines 'Submit' button several times, and the screen stayed the same. Kinda.

So what, you (with that stop-being-such-a-drama-queen look on your face) ask?

Read this. And these. And this. And this.

Now weep with me. I'm gonna miss them. So eff-ing much!

PS: On a totally non-related note, XnView really sucks in handling JPEG compression! Look at the image of my screencap. Fugly!

Stupid New Year

Shit. Oh my, shit. Wow, I can't believe that the first word written on this blog in year 2007 is going to be "shit". And I can't believe that the first three sentences on this blog will have the word "shit" in it. Well, make that four. I hope it means nothing, and 2007 won't be a shitty year. Wha'eva..

Anyway, why being pouty, you may ask?

The thing is like this. First, I was thinking of a new-year entry. Mid-December-wise. I figured out that it's gonna be a looong one. And I think that blog entries around New Year will be revolving around the theme of looking back, you know, a roundup sorta. Other than that, it's going to be a list like resolutions, best of 2006 fill-in-the-blank-s, what's done and what's not or something like that. Well, who am I to beg to differ?

Second, I consider myself as a non-musical kinda person. When I wrote non-musical, I didn't mean a person who's not as close to music in their life. No, because mine's very close to music. The thing is, I never correlate music with my life. Nuh-ev-er. Get it? I never consider music as part of my life. I don't have my breakup songs, celebration songs, I-really-love-to-dance-to song, "my" song, "our" song, and so on and so forth. But, I kinda have a feeling, in order to have a good time hanging out with Nick Hornby, which of course I'd faint right away the minute I'd shake his hand and perhaps the hanging-out thing would go on kookily, I kinda have to be musically adept to merely survive the conversation.

Well, I know, that had I be one of his characters, I'm gonna be one of those whose musical taste lies not so far away beyond boybands and crappy music. Regardless, won't hurt a man for trying.

So bla bla bla. Me trying being smart, thinking that the only way to accommodate the list, lookback, and music was having a snapshot of my Top 25 Most Played on my iTunes. Post it here. And tell a story about how the song can be up there in 2006. Then, I said to myself, I'm doing it on New Year's Eve. That's that. And we'll talk about the top 5 (or 10 if I have the effort to finish) on the New Year entry.

It's all planned out, mind-mapped beautifully and by cheating some days before I was supposed to take the snapshot, I liked how it looked like. I even had formulated an entry in my head then. And of course, this is where the word "shit" came to play.

Some hours (perhaps some 48 or 60 like that) before the M minute, my melancholic alter ego took control of me. I reorganized my files on my hard drive. And by files I mean music files. And then .... thinking harmlessly, I deleted everything on my iTunes library, and replaced it with those supposedly more-reorganized files. They are the same files, regardless, but of course my iTunes thought that they were new files, and hence, they have no history being played on my iTunes.

Fast-forward to New Year's Eve. I turned my lappers on, loaded my iTunes, sang a happy tune, clicked the "top 25 Most Played" playlist, and I was shell-shocked to find out that my number one most played is a file called "ibiza". And then I realized my stupidly stupid stupidity some days before. My "musical" journey for the year vanished. Poof. Cue the melancholy somber strings music. Well, strike that, how about a tip-toeing comedy-like music.

Whatever happens, I think I remember some 5 out of the top 10 (that I saw three days earlier). I'm gonna talk about that. But in the meantime, can you help me picking up pieces of my scattered brain on my bedroom floor and wall?

[continued to part 2]