Tuesday, January 03, 2006

the breakdown (wanna break them legs, wanna keep them down)

OK. Ooooowwwww kkkkkeeeee.. I'll be supportive. I'd be dissapointedly supportive. I'm gonna break each and one DSDS "finalist", and pointed out why I hate them. And I'll be supportive .. supportive as an expensive bra.

Eventhough I still think that between the 10 finalists there are only 3 contestants who can sing, and those 3 won't even be in the finals if they were on American Idol, here they are in no particular order.

1. Carolina Escolano

+ : Attitude, showman, unique voice
- : Her attitude came across as cocky; every performance she tried to be sexy, the fact is she aint; her voice sounds like there's a filter that screens the voice, so that only 50% of them comes out, what the...???; crybaby

Quit the cocky attitude, you were through not because viewers like or sympathize (how one writes this word?) you, but because your their votes are divided among the better singers.

Your voice. Oh, lord.. Have you ever taken a voice lesson? If not, no wonder.. If yes, you're not a good student are you? Project your voice from your diaphragm to the back of your mouth, don't produce it from your neck and then trying to be sultry, and whispering every syllable. That's why I ask you to tone down the dancing a bit. Have a good control of your voice first, and then do the other things.

Stop singing upbeat songs, please. You are not sexy. Yes you can flick your hip to left and right, but that doesn't mean that you please me everytime you do it. So tone it down a bit.

Pick a much better song that will suit your voice. I know that you like being bouncy, but IMHO, either your voice suits better to groovy kind of songs, or you suck in singing upbeat songs. So to compromise, pick a groovy bouncy songs. Like "Shoop, Shoop", for example. But if you're having difficulties to tackle Whitney, then you're in trouble.

2. Nevio Passaro

+ : great hairdo; different singing style; adorable (for teen-chicks) attitude.
- : weak voice; cocky; undeserving (with-guitar audition).

To be honest, I think you are currently the best in the worst group. In the first week, you succeeded being a Ronan Keating impersonator. If that style of singing is truly yours, then maybe you can be one of my favorite. Because Ronan Keating, Shane Filan, Gary Barlow, JC Chasez, despite what people say about their group, they are good singers.

It turns out, that you are nowhere near Ronan Keating. You sound like Ronan because you sang a Ronan song. Second week, whoa! It was off. Thank God you arranged the "Yesterday" to be jazzy, so that your pitchy spots are somewhat masked. But it was pitchy.

I do think that you won't suck if you keep singing ballads. But I'm not so sure that you would be great in singing rather than ballads. That's what Motto Show is for, right? Either to find out whether you're versatile or not, or to give twists to songs to make it your own.

But please, if the song is a very well known pop, don't play your jazz card once again.

So far, I got so disturbed by your thin thin thin voice, so my advice to Caro on voice production would be suitable to be applied to you as well. And I still don't get what are you doing with your left hand while your singing.. You usually played the piano while singing, right? I don't thing that cupping is one of left hand routines on the piano. Hmmm.. But I may be wrong.

As much as I don't like you at all, I'm still gonna say this: You are the most potential candidates to go home with the Superstar title.

3. Stephan Darnstaedt
+ : voice
- : annoying voice, no stage presence at all, drama queen, crybaby, no style.

Listen to your image consultant. If you don't have one, read (or look in) more teen mags. Try to put on different styles that you find there. Your style is dead boring and it doesn't suit your performance.

As for performing, it's clear that you really like melancholy songs because it fits your personality (crybaby) and voice. But don't be trapped on them. You should find a more powerful song that will showcase your voice.

My concrete suggestion is pick a backstreet boys song, but (again, I tell you) don't sing a melancholy one. If not, find other boyband's songs, as they usually aren't difficult songs. And stop looking so sad. Be strong, man.. strong, strong, strong!

I put these three just to show that I got annoyed both between the best and worst. So you understand now why I called the show worthless, right?

Have fun on Saturday night. I know I will.


Credo said...

For #1 and #3, how could their + is their - as well?

Bie said...

karena.. gue ngerti kenapa mereka ber2 bisa sampe masuk tv: karena +'s itu..

tapi ternyata it comes out annoying and all, dan menurut gue itu menjadi -'s mereka karena ya emang unik and all, tapi jelek..