the due graphic (you know, it's 12:30 a.m. and I am not sleeping yet, so mind the ugly and probably wrong title)

I'm three days late!!

... for .. you know ...

It never hurts to stay on the safe side. Expect some graphics perhaps in some days.

bla bla bla bla

Bla bla bla bla. Bla bla bla bla bla. Bla bla bla bla! Hahahhaaa... Bla bla bla bla bla? Hmm.. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla bla. Bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla bla. :)

Bla bla bla bla bla bla. Bla bla bla. Hihihi.. Bla bla bla bla bla. Ach, bla bla bla bla. Bla bla bla. Whoa! Bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla bla. Oops. :)

I just found out like some days ago that my "crisis" was supposed to be named Quarter-Life Crisis, not Mid-Life one. :)

Argh .. Crisis, schmisis.

Let's just have fun at Jiffest! Or in another good news, whodoyouthinkheare is back!

10 things I HATE/LIKE about Jakarta

It's been a week. One week. Seven full days. Some hundred hours (I wouldn't count them all, are you kidding me?). And all I can do is sigh. Well, you know what, I should have seen them coming. What's them? Here:

1. The fact that all my friends are here, and I can laugh like out loud in a dining table because of the joke that I actually understand rather than just a courtesy laugh. HATE/LIKE


2. The fact that I don't have a broadband internet connection and therefore miss youtube and all the podcasts that I subscribed so much. So fuckin' much. HATE/LIKE


3. The fact that things are so cheap, but since the money that I'm using is not mine (yet!), the things still look like so fricken expensive. HATE/LIKE


4. The fact that my sister has like a big box full of DVDs which she'd never seen, some of them are serious series that I seriously intend to watch seriously, but then my sister don't know where she put the other discs. HATE/LIKE


5. The fact that it's always thirty-fucking-something degree out there. Borrowing Project Runway 3's third runner up Mychael Knight's quip: I'm sweating like a ho in a church. Well, in this case perhaps a mosque. HATE/LIKE (well, explanation for this one is kinda long and some kinda boring. So let's settle for n/a here.)


6. The fact that food is good. Tasty. Tasty tasty. Unlike the things that they tell you it's tasty, and then for me it's european tasty. HATE/LIKE


7. The fact that high mobility on the street is a privilege. HATE/LIKE


8. The fact that body-awareness-related business is still in its growing phase (e.g. sports center, gym studios, fitness centers, etc.), to put it in other words, they are still God-help-us-all expensive. HATE (second fact only)/LIKE (first fact only)


9. The fact that my niece is so so so so so so so (and I can type that word much longer) cute and adorable, eventhough she wouldn't talk, play and sit with me on the whole first day we met (that's Monday) and after every nap (can you believe it?), and now she's kinda always saying, "I wanna play upstairs!" (where my room is), but as I said before, except after every nap where she has this shyness again all over again. HATE/LIKE (and a big fat enormous LIKE, that is)


10. The fact that I AM NO LONGER THE BROWNIE ANYMORE BECAUSE EVERYONE IS LIKE THE BROWNIE HERE AND I'M EVEN PALER THAN SOME OF THEM. And the fact that I am so upset about it so that I'm writing it in capitals. HATE/LIKE


11. The fact that I already miss Hamburg eventhough it's only been under 200 hours, and friends were saying that the weather was so shitty, not a 30-something degree, it rained cats, dogs, elephant, and the whole Noah's arc, it even flooded Fischmarkt. HATE/LIKE

But it's looking up in some days, methinks. I'll be travelling to an ex-shooting-location in Bandung (will I?) on Sunday, and singing again on Monday (thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, YEAH, ABBA!!).

I think I'm losing my fucking mind. And no, I'm not counting the result of the self-conducted survey. :)

Hmm.. It doesn't add up to the title.

err .. I think I didn't order a bowl-of-melancholy-to-go last night ...

This is it. I still need all this to sink in. Sink. In. OK, I'm ready.

This, I think can be the last time that I'm writing an entry for this blog from this chair, at this house, in this town, on this temperature, in this country. Long story short, I'm flying back to Jakarta tomorrow morning.

Suitcases are packed. I'm scared to death that it will be overpacked (of course it is - on a non-related issue, Firefox 2.0 introduces a spelling check??) and I have to leave out some stuff here which of course I don't know what. The pants, T-shirt, Jackets, that I can't live without, well, I can't live without. I have to again apply my sister's method, I think. I have to choose between two favorites and stop being a crybaby about it.

I felt really sad for leaving. I don't know whether it is because of the fact that I hate goodbyes, or simply because everything in Hamburg had started to grow on me. I am torn, really torn. I mean, of course it will always be pleasing to know that in November you don't have to hustle everytime you're walking to keep yourself warm, or wearing a three-layered clothes, or treading in your wet shoes. In the mean time, I felt like I haven't told stories about Hamburg enough, I haven't experienced Hamburg enough. And such crap like that.

I felt really happy for leaving. I've had enough of this student-life. ENOUGH. I want to be part of the crowd of employment market as soon as possible, build a career and start my own life. Why not doing it here, you ask? Well, there are hundreds of reasons to start with. But one of the most basic ones, is that the opportunity is not there yet.

I felt really scared for leaving. You know, scared of starting something new. Starting something on my own, relying solely on what I've been told and taught (which I can tell you that it's not much), and wondering, "Is it really like what I've been thinking about?"

I felt extremely dilemmatic about leaving. I kept too many promises. I don't know if I can keep them all. And, eventhough I'm sure it's only the best for us all, but I don't see these parties that I gave my promises to (and promise me something in return of course), are ready to give 100% to keep it as well. I have to let myself wait and see.

So, just yesterday, I can't count how many times I streaked a smile on my face everytime I'm thinking about the things that I will be doing in the next few days. At the same time, I had to hold myself together like tens of times so that I wouldn't cry, and I failed three times. Already.

If we can vote what's the worst invention of humankind, my vote goes to goodbye. (I'm not sure whether goodbye is a human invention, though. Heh.)