Tuesday, May 29, 2007

miss thing

Miss USA finally gave us something worth to watch in Miss Universe Pageant contests. You go, girl!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

28 days later (I can't believe that it rounds up to 28, but it does!!!)

Helloooooouuuuwwwww, Jeremy Piven!

Me posing Piven posePS: Please mind the clutter in my "Yoga studio".

Friday, May 25, 2007

the dodol in indodol

Every guy who just lost something valuable in his life needs consolation, right. Now this guy, (ouch, that's me) lost his favourite show on telly last week. And eventhough it was then still aired for another week, the guy (still me) lost every barrel of motivation for watching it. If he didn't have one last entry to write, he would have decided to call it quits.

But this week, the show is officially over. So the guy is reeeeeaaaaally in dire needs of consoling.

He may have found it in Indonesian Idol, shown tonight on local TV. And between the male host (who apparently watches E! and realizes that trench coat is in today, errrr for actresses) who thinks that screaming is the right oomph of becoming a host, the pointless judges, the production which sucks beyond suckdom, the overly-stretched show and the international students who were "invited" as "VIP"s (*heaving*), he found himself being wrong.

This is not a consolation prize or whathaveyou for him, this is a laughing stock, to be honest.

There are ten contestants left on the show. Let him challenge himself to remember them all.

There is this one male contestant whose performance I missed. But I couldn't care less.

There is this one male contestant that he thinks that he can pull a Jeremy Piven on Emmy 2006. From his chubby figure down to his ascot. But of course he looks more like Jeremy Piven playing let's-dress-in-the-dark-prior-going-to-Emmy-2006.

There is this one female contestant that everytime the judges said something either good or bad, she put the best fake smile on her face and said, "Makasi Mas/Mbak [insert judges' name here] ...". Oh, wait. EVERYONE was doing it. They don't make faces, they don't argue, they just ... nrimo. I guess, that's why they call it Indonesian Idol.

There is this one female contestant that looks eerily like Krisdayanti (whose husband is one of the judges) pre-cosmetic surgery. Or post. I don't know which is which.

There is this one chubby female contestant who's so naive, she even asked what naive means. WHAT THE ...?? I'm ready to go to the stage and say, "Well, honey. Apparently you're not only (pretending to be) naive, but also vocabulariedly challenged. If you can't find where vocabulariedly challenged is located in a dictionary, look under S for stupid."

There is this one female contestant that uses a couch-look-alike (interior designers, help me out, here) as a prop, and for a moment I thought she was about to do a preparation for an acrobatic yoga pose eventhough the costume was not so supportive. Oh. Her family and friends had a pretty large portrait-oriented banner that says, "[her name] the Dreamgirl". Copycatting down to the fonts and the neon designs. Margaret Cho had a perfect line when she guest-starred in Sex and the City for this: Fuck. Me. Hard.

There is this one male popcorn (translation: berondong) contestant who looks somewhat cute (from some challenging angles), but sounds reeeeeeaaaallly terrible. And that's a compliment. I bet he will end second, if not wins.

There is this one female contestant whom the mentor commented on by saying, "I can't believe there's a medical student who is so stylish." Clearly, the mentor never watched Grey's Anatomy or the Bachelor or got out of his recording studio much. When she was on stage, that "stylish" word translates directly to Ugly Betty goes to prom.

There is this one male contestant who is downright mediocre. So mediocre that I can't find any appropriate insult for him.

There is this one female contestant singing this song, to which I wondered, "Where have I heard this song?" And some seconds later, my telly showed a shot of her from an angle and it brought revelation in me. "Oh, yeah.. In that drag queen fest I watched."

There is this one male contestant with his potongan pengamen. Vocal wise and look wise. I found him pretty good, though. But of course the judges overlook him. And the stylists were so mean to him, so that he no longer looks like just some pengamen, but pengamen caught between horrible costume storm and glitter avalanche.

There is this person who keeps repeatedly calling the mentor, Harvey Malaiholo, Har-fay Malaiholo, not Har-fee. Wait, that's the female host. Harvey himself was ready to bitch slap her. Wattaaa!

Oh, he's so gonna watch the result show. Just to see who's pulling fake tears or another fake smile.

Happy watching!

four days I will remember in hell (shout out to Mitch Albom)

I was sick yesterday. Wait. Yesterday, the day before, the day before that, and the day before the day before that. For four days. Since I don't really like recollecting horrible memories of my life, it is safe to say that it was the most horrendous four days I've ever had. Horrible!

On the day before the day before that (let's call this TDBTDBT from now on, alright?), I ate a squid. It was my mum's. Not my mum's my mum's, but my mum brought it home from her trip to some beach (No, she wasn't affected by the tidal waves). By the time I finished eating its head (I eat squid heads first) and all its tentacles (right. yum!) I suddenly felt nauseous and was ready to call it quits with my food. It was only one-third of my meal, so it was a very unusual of me.

I spent the rest of TDBTDBT feeling nauseous. And lost my appetite (again, a very unusual of me). And very weak and don't feel like playing energizer bunny.

On the day before that, I still have a hint of stomach nausea. I still lost my appetite, but I wasn't as weak. I worked normally and planned to go to the gym after work, eventhough I still got that thing rhymes with polka dots. But for BodyBalance, I would do anything, baby.

But (in a spirit of the premiere of At World's End) ahoy! I was already on a bus when the nauseating feeling started to kick in harder than TDBTDBT. I asked myself whether I could survive the ride home without being sick.

The night was horrible. I couldn't sleep longer than 50 minutes. Every other hour I was awaken to visit a place, where people usually secretly smoke, got their inspiration, meditate, read a newspaper or a book on it. So it wasn't tea or a mixture between tacos and Space Mountain, but I got horrible polka dots regardless.

On the day before, I can only lie down on my bed. Well, OK. I got up like watching American Idol, or getting myself some drinks, or things like that, but mostly I just lay down. I mean how could I? Everything I chugged and swallowed went out again from either where it came in or where it was supposed to go out.

You know that movie Chasing Amy? Yeah, I felt exactly like Lauren when she was called finger cuffs. I mean not feel like Lauren feel like that, but I felt like being used on both ends.

I spent the rest of the afternoon either listening to the rumbles of world war that was happening in my stomach or worrying when will be the next time that nature calls or whether the night will be as horrible as on the day before that or thinking that should I later on go to a doctor, he/she may ask,

"Can you describe your faeces, please?",

and all I can do is looking weirdly defensive to his/her face and say, "Of course I can't, you sick. I'm the type of person who defecates exactly like if I'm donating: I don't think about or look at it afterwards!"

So yesterday, I woke up with a relieve. I slept uninterrupted. Eventhough the polka dots were still there, it came and went as randomly seldom as Transjakarta buses corridor IV and up. I had the desire to eat. And most importantly, I couldn't hold the temptation of singing with Beyoncé again. Yeah, Listen. Minus any signature choreography, though.

After lunch I decided that I was strong enough to go to the gym ONLY to do BodyBalance, not my whole workout regime. So I went to the gym, had one of the best BodyBalance class ever (eventhough the Pilates part still successfully killed me). And only because I thought that the sweats that I always produce when I'm doing Sun Salutation did their so called detoxification, I suddenly felt strong enough to workout. And on one-third of the workout, I put full gear on, and didn't feel weak.

All and all, what makes it so horrible is actually when I stepped on the scale today and witness that ..

.. I LOST FOUR FUCKING KILOGRAMS!!!

I know now what I have to do today. It's eat, eat and eat some more. Oh, and also visit the mosque. Since I no longer have the excuse to miss Friday prayer today.

Have a nice weekend..

Thursday, May 24, 2007

worst finale ever - idol top 2

I have like 30 minutes to write this thing down.

OK.

Like Simon Cowell, I entered last night finale episode of American Idol rooting for Blake Lewis to bring home the title. I don't really care about who should win technically or who will win vote-gettingly or whatever, I just think that eventhough I think that Blake's vocal is not the best, I can fall for that kind of vocal more easily than Jordin Sparks'.

Like I already sing Blake's version of "This Love" more and more these days. With the beat-boxing and all. Or the day I decided that I liked Take That.

If Paula Abdul said that this was the best finale ever, I bravely say that this is the WORST finale ever. By far. Not only that both of the finalist perform without any oomph, but the show also didn't have any oomph. To be honest, I was more excited to try to recognize some faces in the audience rather than to watch their performance. But funnily, I didn't see any Sanjaya. Heheh..

Blake performed unsurprisingly in his first song. Screamy in the second one. And just terrible in the last one.

Jordin on the other hand, or in this case on the same hand, was struggling in her first song. Screamy in the second one (but very well executed screamy that is). And messed up the third one. She cried. I mean broke down almost in tears. Some verses before the end of the song. Weird, eh? Her voice trembled, and it was actually her chance to play her 17-year-old card for the last time.

Argh, anyway, I think Jordin is winning, and I don't really care actually.

Oh, yeah, and I think I am on the same page with everyone else that said that the winning song sucked.

Monday, May 21, 2007

(not) one night only (I really don't know what to write as title, but then my iTunes was playing One Night Only. So that's it)

I kept talking about Melinda and Lakisha race for the past three months now (Oh my, I didn't realize that it was that long), just to find another race on my iTunes.

Check this out.

So. Dreamgirls 7. Musical 8 (Wicked is a very very very good musical, by the way and that song is some showstopper!). Scissor Sisters 1. Gloria Estefan (just because the song is so nostalgic) 1.

Speaking of Dreamgirls, I just found yet another person to give my charm plague to. Don't blame me. He's the only one in years after I said, "The reason that I learn French is to know how to read it correctly. Like to sing along to Notre-Dame de Paris." (we talked about musicals about some minutes earlier), he replied with wide-eyed wonderment, "Do you have the CD from that musical?????!!!". I did, but I didn't. I left it in Hamburg. Bummer.

So yeah, after we traded our knowledge on (to name a few) Le Temps des Cathédrales (best opening song EVER of a musical, by the way), Bohemienne, Les Sans-Papiers, I assumed, "You've watched Dreamgirls, then I bet." He said, no, because he heard it was very boring. I tried to regain my composure, sip my juice coolly and said, "Yes, that's true. The movie. Not the musical."

So I think the next time I'll be in that mall where I usually buy my DVDs, I will buy another copy of Dreamgirls. For the fifth time.

We kinda spent the night by watching Beyoncé's Listen, though. Not for the fifth time.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

today's one liner

Omigod, I love this song!!!

PS: Ram, this song is actually what Eurovision is (or was or should be) all about!!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

tennis news of the day

So. The editors of Men's Fitness USA think that Andy Roddick is not hot buff enough to grace their covers.

Where does that put us mere mortals?

PS: Or maybe it's A-Ro himself who thought that he wasn't hot enough?

PPS: A-Ro wanted us to believe that the PSed (post-scripted not photoshopped) thing was not the case.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

this is the time when "what were you thinking" fits the headline - idol top 3

It's over. The season is officially over. I mean, seriously .. But, I'm not here to comment on the result. I'm here to comment about the top 3.

There is always a moment when I say to myself, "Gosh, this chick should win American Idol, or offer her a record deal, sofort!" just to see myself retracting that saying after a while, "Nope. Spoke too soon. She still needs to wait for another year or two. Or take a helluva vocal training." (not because she needs it desperately, but to shape things up).

I always say that to Jordin Sparks. And last night she did it again. I think the first song really suited her well (OK, I give it to Simon to pick the song for her). But I cringed on the second song. But still, week in week out, I give it to Jordin to be what American Idol is (supposed to be) all about. A raw, undiscovered talent, entertaining, with a personality of a poodle. That's a compliment.

What about professionalism? Well, it's written all over Melinda Doolittle's face. She is the example of someone who does everything right for Idol. EVERYTHING. From performing consistently good every week, lack of fashion victim moments (hair, dress, make-up, whatnot), personality which is lovable and humble (and other positive -ble others) downright to her alter-ego-ish performances.

Last night when Randy said that he chose "I Believe in You and Me" for Melinda, I kinda spoiled-girlishly screamed, "It's not fair!". That song is so difficult (for Melinda). Because it's rangy (Melinda's range is not her forte), it's Whitney (it always ticks off Simon's bad side), and others' were chosen because it suits them the best. But anyway, you do realize we're talking about Melinda, right? She belted that song alright.

Idol is also about marketable. And no one is more marketable this year than Blake Lewis. He's sorta cute. He's sorta fashionable. He's sorta talented. He's sorta original (actually I've been questioning myself about this last statement. What's really original about Blake to be honest?). He's sorta please-do-my-hair-differently-this-week-Miles. He's sorta able to move around stage comfortably. I read somewhere else that he's arrogant though. But with a publicist in hand, that wouldn't be problem.

Last night I kinda think that I really wanted to see this kid in the finale against Melinda. But I kinda regret that I said that, just because if he's not beatboxing (as the judges pleaded him to do or not do), I don't really like his voice. Ah well. Voice schmoice. It's not all about voice anyway.. And by the way I still can't embrace him fully, because his music reminds me a lot of NSync's Celebrity. Which I loathe.

Speaking of beatboxing, how's Travis Tucker doing?

Enjoy last week of American Idol 6 next week. I know I won't.

Monday, May 14, 2007

give me a B! give me Gs! what does it say? - idol top 4

Hah, hah, hah, hah'm staying alive, staying alive. Staying alive after the loss of two of my favourite contestants last week.

So, on that note ...

... wohooo! Bee Gees night! The songs will be familiar, it will feels very much like home and I can dance like I dance in my living room, and chant the words like I always do in front of my TV. Wait, there's something strange, since those are the things I did this week.

Anyway, if I'm not mistaken, Bee Gees night was first done in season 2. Also in the top 4. Clay Aiken fans must have remembered those blazing red leather jackets and his horrendous interesting hip thrusts. Joshua Gracin's fans must have remembered the gorge country vocals by him during his "To Love Somebody" rendition. And so on.

I wonder how tonight will be remembered.

Hmm, tonight will be remembered the night the top 4 (once again) struggled with theme nights.

Barry Gibb is such a sweetheart to not tell the contestants right in the face that they suck, and they screw out most of his songs. I'm not naming names here, *coughBlakecough*, but seriously ...

By the way, Simon used the word pageant-y!! YAY, Simon! I know I can count on you. He used it when commenting on Jordin Sparks' second performance. He called it that. I called it screamy. Barry Gibb has clearly subtly carefully considerately implied that, "Jordin, you can choose whether to go soft or strong on those difficult notes." Yeah, I'm paraphrasing. Jordin chose to go strong. Screamy.

On the first performance she did better, though. I think she owe it to her country-ballad edge that she has.

Melinda Doolittle is a grand finalist. No doubt about it. Even when she sucked, she did much better than most of her contenders. Until today, I still long for the day I am able to belt that song titled "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?". Someday, someday. But then Melinda slammed it in my face that that someday might still be a very long while. Sigh.

Lakisha Jones lost her voice. Argh, she should have sashayed more knowing her voice left her with nothing but her sexy curves and lips. But I really applaud her for still showing up there and did her thing. Seriously, if Diana DeGarmo survived Elton John night singing sick, Lakisha should have been saved as well. Too bad her fanbase are not that big, and she lost her voice during top 4. When each and every fanbase are in tact.

Now the one that performance wise should have gone home is Blake Lewis. I literally changed channels during his performance. And I winced. And cringed. And eventhough I prefer him to Jordin to be on the finale (so that the night won't be a sing off night), based on that performance, "Duh!". No, it's not English, it's Indonesian "Duh!".

In the meantime, I leave you with a perfect rendition of "Run to Me" on my iTunes. Sung by the Bee Gees (Although Josh Gracin did a pretty sweet rendition during season 2 top 4 group performance as well).

Saturday, May 12, 2007

I got so emotional baby - idol top 6 err again

This is the only time that something good comes out of my slacking. Yeah, I slack. Most of the times. It may come as a surprise for you, but I do.

I have had the intentions of writing the next paragraph since twenty I can no longer count how many days ago. Yeah, the day when Haley Scarnato was eliminated. And I didn't write it. And when there was a chance last week, I didn't again. I figured, maybe I wouldn't be able to live the consequences. And then what I'm thinking happened last week. It won't happen again now, but I'm a write it down anyway, right now.

I don't want anyone to go home.

First things first. Impression about the night. Hmm.. Bon Jovi night. What a tough night (even for me). Why tough? Because the songs will be rangy, rocky, and my-sister-y. Yeah, were my sister one of the contestant, she would have put her hands together resembling a clap in front of her chest, squeezed them, bend her knees, and said, "I'm a huge, huge fan of you." She is a big fan of Bon Jovi and Jon, and I kinda know their and his 80s and 90s songs just because my sister relentlessly played it like all day and all night and had all their albums and their posters hanging on the wall and .. you know .. stuff that teenagers do when you're a big fan. (I wonder how old Jordin Sparks' mom, then)

Off to the contestants.

Finally, ladies and gentlemen, Blake Lewis is back in the house. I miss him, to be honest. Performing like this, to be precise. I mean for me, if Blake wants to win me, he needs to do one thing and one thing only: perform breng-breng-gedumbreng everytime. EVERY-freaking-TIME. I mean, come on, let's be honest, here. His vocal is not that interesting. He kept sporting good hairdos (which strangely gone brunette this week). And I like hearing songs that I can dance to.

But actually, I still prefer his version of that song in Diana Ross week, rather this one. Why didn't he choose "Keep the Faith" to keep it beat-y, I won't know. And when Simon said that he thought that there would be people who would love it and hate it, I lean towards "hate it" more. Sorry, Blake. But of course, I won't choose him as one of the two to go home.

Chris Richardson did OK. It's just another Chris Richardson performance. Nothing special, nothing (completely) original. He was so daring (I am a bit tempted to write stupid, but ..) to choose that song previously sung by Chris Daughtry, on the night when Chris D was dubbed the one to beat on Idol stage. Ouch Chris (R not D). But of course, I won't choose him as one of the two to go home.

Lakisha Jones may have gained some grounds on the race (that was over some weeks ago) she was in with Melinda Doolittle after the performance. I think both perform almost equally well, but Lakisha has that edge of that flirtatious moment with Simon Cowell. But on the other hand, of course Melinda has that edge of her fans, which I think, it is already much bigger than Lakisha's.

Jordin Sparks was horrible. Seriously. I won't speak more to that.

When I was just like 12 or so, I watched religiously an Idol-like television show called Star Search. On one of those nights, there was this man, with his cowboy-hat on, boots on, guitar strapped, strummed and he sang "Blaze of Glory". With a country twist.

That moment changed my life (said with the Oprah accent). Since that time, country vocals keep me amazed, and everytime I hear "Blaze of Glory", I always wish that the performer induces a bit of country flavour in it.

That's why I was glad and then sad knowing Phil Stacey chooses the song. Glad because I could hear an country-like version of the song, sad because Phil didn't use his country thang to the song. One word: disappointment.

Oh, Phil. But of course, I won't choose him as one of the two to go home.

PS: Oh, my God. I slack even more!! Hehehe..

Friday, May 11, 2007

mistakenly mistook

I don't know whether it's ignorance, compliment, insult, mistake, unknowledgable, inexperienced, or what-have-you, but I have been mistook so many times when it comes to my nationality or my roots.

I was thought:
A Padang by a Javanese (and she was pretty damn sure of it)
A Javanese by some Javanese
A Pinoy by a group of Pinoys
A Thai by a German
A Columbian by two different Columbians on two different occurences
A Columbian by a Spaniard
A Latino by two different Germans on two different occurences
A Japanese by a German
An Arab descendant by a Canadian
An Arab descendant by an Australian
An Indian by a Paki

The culmination of this all is yesterday, when the new Brazilian instructor's class I joined was wrapping up, then I gave him a high-five goodbye, and said "Thanks" in Portuguese, he looked at me puzzled and was stuttering, "Are you Brazilian?"

He didn't know that he just gave me the best question-but-I-took-it-as-a-compliment ever.

I kinda calculated that it was because of my beachy aura. Eyes and ears open, guys. BEACHY. Not bitchy.

And no, it doesn't have anything to do with any waxing-related thoughts.

Friday, May 04, 2007

thursday. the third day.

Thursday morning. My gym. Around 8:10 am. Still 20 minutes to rush to the shower and then the office. Lateral raise machine. Yeah.

So I was sitting on the machine, resting in between second and third set of lateral raise, when suddenly I heard a voice, which I was pretty sure that it was addressed to me. I have to write this in Indonesian to achieve full effect. The voice, clearly belongs to a woman, heard, "Hey. Kamu punya badan bagus ya ..." (translation: Hey. You have a nice body ...)

I finally knew how the weather was like on cloud number nine after she said that. I turned my head, posed a sheepish smile (my smile is always kinda sheepish anyway) and that lady was actually talking to me. Yeah, shocking.

I haven't really taken in those nanoseconds precious moment, when she continued, "... kelenturannya." (translation: flexibility wise).

OK. It was not really cloud number nine. But I'll give it a number eight regardless.

I don't know who she is. I can't remember her face. She was (I think) in my Thursday 7 AM yoga class. I don't think I will recognize her shall we meet again.

One thing for sure. She made my Thursday.

PS: Yeah. This guy made my Thursday too. Thanks again, mate.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

today's speedy-related one liner

I'm back in the game, baby. Yeah!